7. Conflictions of a Young Wife

Page 7 Conflictions of a Young Wife

I know what you may be thinking but no, I was not a bad kid. I didn’t drink or do drugs. I was quiet and didn’t get into trouble. I didn’t deserve to be kicked out of the house just because I had sex with my boyfriend. It was almost April, still early on in my junior year. My sophomore year had gone well and junior year was no different. I was making straight A’s and my teachers were beginning to notice me. I hung on desperately to their words of encouragement and one teacher arranged for me to get a job at my school during the summer before my senior year. My husband would often disappear and leave me to fend for myself. I didn’t know how to drive yet and I was dependent on other people to take me wherever I needed to go. You would think the adults in my life would have been happy to give me a ride to work but they weren’t. 


Somehow I made it through that summer. I was excited because I only needed to go half a day for half the year in order to have the required credits to graduate. When it was time to start my senior year, my husband (who had quit school in 10th grade) decided to go back to school and made me ride the bus while he drove himself. He ignored me between classes and in the cafeteria. He walked around with cheerleaders and acted like I didn’t exist. Because of his actions I wound up dropping out of day school and finishing my senior year at adult school. I didn’t get to do any of the things I had always dreamed of doing in my senior year. But oh how I loved him even when he was hurting me. Plus I had no where else to go. 



                                                                                                                                      Today when you left without me again

My eyes not only watched you, they cried

My heart felt hurt and beat more quickly

My mind thought about it and decided to let go of you and leave

But my legs won’t carry me away from you

Because my arms need to hold you

And my ears don’t know if they could stand it

Without the sound of your voice telling my body what to do

So gently my hands wipe the tears from my face

My heart slows down to a normal pace

As my ears hear your footsteps,

My legs carry me to you

And when my arms reach out for you

My mind thinks about it and decides to stay

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